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Motivational Moments With Dr. Paul W Dyer Grandmaster: Not Being There
Dr Paul W Dyer

Not Being There


As season is changing to the so called holidays. We are going to fall into the mental, physical trap of not being there. Before I unpack the term not being there, I am going to first let you know I have not been there in my life for family , friends, loved ones. The reason, the excuses, and the causes may or may not be valid depending on the perception of the emotional  state of the who is feeling the what. I can say , the tears and the breaking of hearts is like a volcanic eruptions from the bottom of the sea. The fiery lava builds an island that you will emotionally trap on for a time until you forgive. The pain has caused me a death and almost my life at times. So as you say and feel not being there , connect to this conscious of thought you are there. 

If I had known this then, what I practice now it would have saved myself from the destructo island I have built at one time. The practice of being there is loving and compassionate gift we give of ourselves. Not to what , but to your love of self. You see we feel when we are not there that our love is not being felt and the others don’t realize you are loving as you can from where you are with all of who you are. Not being there is only a state of mind, not a state of physical action. The state of separation is driven by ego not love.

Love is the ultimate key to success. Love is based on the truth of oneness, just as its opposite, fear, is based on the illusion of separation. It’s about knowing that there’s no one else out there; it’s all you. Therefore, if you want to be happy, then do things that will make others happy, because they are you. If you want to be forgiven, forgive yourself by forgiving others. If you feel that the world is unkind, be more kind to others and you’ll experience greater kindness from the world that reflects you. 

In this society, our ego is constantly being reinforced. It is reinforced by the thought of not being there. Thousands of times per day we identify with our names, physical appearance, possessions, money, families, jobs and all the other things we use to maintain the notion of ourselves as a separate entity. The ego needs to be reinforced constantly, because if it wasn’t, the truth would quickly wipe it out.Love is what remains after the illusion of ego and separation is removed. If we see a homeless person and recognise the truth, that they are us, then the only logical response is to show them kindness.

To be able to show them kindness is to show yourself kindness first by not letting your ego drive you into a corrupted thought of not being there. So in these days ahead of or even behind because of war, sickness, distance, money, and even Covid we are always there when we love ourselves and share that with friends, family, and loved ones.